Friends to lovers – Are You Falling in Love with Your Best Friend?
Friends to lovers – Are You Falling in Love with Your Best Friend?
Can friends fall in love?
When Rahul in Kuch Kuch Hota Hain said, “Love is friendship” we all felt that and it occurred to us, “Hmm, why not?” There are multiple pathways to romance, friendship being one of the top ones on the list. Yes, friends can fall in love and can be romantic partners while still being friends. Friends to lovers conversions are common now. University students mostly fall into such types of relationships Let’s talk about some aspects, merits, and demerits of friends to lovers connections.
People we most commonly end up dating
Someone from a dating app
- Friend of a friend
- Family friends
Seniors or juniors from school
Among all these categories, we will see the friends to lovers trope the most because close friendships already have a solid foundation for a good romantic relationship. Friends already know each other, know what each other’s best qualities are, are also aware of each other’s flaws and despite all the flaws, friends accept each other. We like our friends for the way they are so friends do not feel constant pressure to be their best versions of themselves in front of each other. In other cases, we pretend a lot and often try to be someone we are not. It is really easy to get deceived in other scenarios where you think the person to be someone and later they turn out to be someone else. But in friendships, friends are already comfortable with each other and do not put that extra effort to be something they are inherently not.
Things are easy with friends
In this age of dating apps and blind dates, people still choose to date friends, even sometimes prefer friends over strangers. We befriend people we like; we feel comfortable with, and we can have fun with and be ourselves around. Friends do not judge us, good friends feel at home and if all these are paired with a bit of mutual attraction and compatibility, friends can turn into lovers. ‘We like because and love despite.’ This means, that we like our friends because of all the good and amazing things they are, and love our friends despite their unlikeable traits.
Most love stories start with friendship, a study reports. Friends spend a lot of time together and that might lead them to feel things just friends are not supposed to feel. Often two friends hang out one-on-one, not in groups, without mutual friends being present. Then the whole hangout becomes just about them. They talk about things they might not open their mouths about in a group setting. And if these one-on-one hangouts become frequent, those two friends are likely to fall in love. Again, some might befriend you because you are their type and they fancy you. This is also a common case. Possibilities are endless! If you two are friends, you already know what your ideologies are, what kind of political views you have, and if your sense of humor matches or not. So, you do not have to go through the awkward “talking stage” where you ask the other person their favorite color and play trivia.
Signs that you are falling in love with your friend-
- We always look forward to seeing them
- You try to hang out with them alone
- You suddenly start to feel jealous when you see them with other people
- Their behavior towards starts to affect you a lot
- They turn you on
- Your mood heavily starts to depend on them
- You eagerly wait for them to reply to your text
- You constantly look for things to talk about with them
- You start noticing small things about them
- Everything they do feels attractive
- You start flirting with them
- You feel tension around them.
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- Your body language and physical boundaries change when they are around
- Anything happens and you feel an urge to share that with them as soon as possible
- You tend to mention them to other people quite more frequently
- You start being vulnerable around them
- Your mutual friends notice the change
If you see these changes in yourself then you might be falling in love with your friend. And bonus, if you see changes like this in your friend too, then congratulations, the feelings are mutual, ask them out already.
Things to do if you are in love with your friend
Read the air. It is not easy to hide feelings especially if you two meet regularly. If you get hints, just let them know how you feel. Having a heavy chest with the burden of untold tales can be very painful. Communication in times like this is very important. Expressing your feelings can come with its consequences, both good and bad, be mentally prepared for that. Decide if you like the person enough to take the risk. Taking a leap of faith is the key here, if it is a fail, you will get hurt and might feel miserable but eventually, you will move on. On the other hand, if it is a success, you will fly high. The high will be so high that you will thank yourself for making the move. Years later you will not have to sit and think about what could have happened if you had just worn your feelings on your sleeve. Regrets are not the greatest things in the world so be mindful. Thinking about the future is necessary but do not get too lost in it that you forget to enjoy the present. And note that, people sometimes fall in love because of projection, which means if they get to know you like them, they might start seeing you that way too and grow feelings. You at least have to let them know you can be an option too. Put the idea in their head because as we always say, ‘Chances of getting them is zero if you do not try.
Everything is not always this easy
Now, transitioning from friends to significant others is not as easy as it may sound. Two people have to have the same feelings or else it might just be another one-sided love story. Then there is fear of turning things awkward if the relationship does not work, this may even put an end to a beautiful friendship. Even your social group can fall apart if you two have the same circle and your friends are left in a position to pick sides. But all this being said, if you and your friend romantically like each other at time same time, then you are just wasting time by not dating each other. Because two people falling for each other simultaneously with the same intensity is a miracle. Does not happen very often.
Conclusion about friend to lovers
Some people are very strict about not dating friends, because of the risks that come with it. Then, some people might even feel a sibling kind of love towards their best friends. Then again, some strongly only prefer dating friends.
You have to be their friend first to date them, and friendship is crucial for them to have a successful relationship. The bottom line is, that there is no certain rule for falling in love. Not all friendships will turn into relationships, not all relationships will start from friendships. But with the right setting and correct timing, best friends can turn into lovers and have their happily ever after.
Writer: Adiba Nawrin
Edited By: Al-Resalat